In January 1995 — in the wake of the 10th World Youth Day and the second pastoral visit of Pope John Paul II to Manila — Marie Louise, then on her seventh pregnancy, was diagnosed to have acute leukemia. Instead of having an abortion so that she could be given the full dose of chemotherapy (which would have harmed the unborn baby) Marie Louise and her husband Ricky decided without hesitation to save the baby. This was what Marie Louise and her husband discerned God’s will to be, and that was their choice. On June 30, 1995, she gave birth to a baby boy, again by caesarean section. The entire family was received by His Eminence, Jaime Cardinal L. Sin, who encouraged and praised Marie Louise for her heroism and Christian courage. The baby was later baptized by Fr. Maximo Barbero, SJ.

        The resident doctors were continually amazed that Marie Louise did not take birth control pills. She firmly replied: “I will never take the birth control pill, now or ever.” Amidst the suffering, the Lord had given her the time to write, to explain her choice, to her friends — and even to us internet visitors. She wrote the letter below two days before she would celebrate her last birthday with her family.

        Although no formal request or office has been set up to study her cause for sainthood, Bishops and Cardinals have taken interest in this heroic Filipina. She does her people proud. Her story is special to Simbahayan sa Maynila. Marie Louise is special to the Church.

My dear brothers of the first Community,

        Peace of the Crucified and Risen Christ be with you! I would like very much to personally share with you this revelation (which is a grace) that God has revealed to me at this moment. It is not possible for me to speak to each one of you personally, so I am doing the next best thing — I am writing this to you.

        First, I give thanks to God for giving me this Leukemia. Not because I want to have it, but because of it, God opened my eyes, revealing to me so many things. Now I understand what it is to be enlightened, or to be blind, or to be in darkness.

        Truly God is the Author of life and death. I could have died when I was diagnosed to have Leukemia and stayed in the hospital for the first time for almost a month. Medically speaking, I could have died when I entered the operating room for my Caesarean because my RBC and platelets were very low in spite of the many transfusions I had. I knew I could have bled to death.

        I am so afraid to die, especially on the day I discovered I have Leukemia. I prayed hard to God not to allow me to die, for the sake of my children who are still young. I want to see them grow up. I was afraid also because I did not know if I will go to heaven or hell. At that moment, God made me experience death. I experienced that death is not painful and to die is something beautiful, for I went to a place that was so beautiful that one would not want to come back to this world. I discovered that God is so good that He wants me and all of us to go to heaven. I experienced what it is to be in peace because I was assured of the promise of eternal life.

        Second, the birth of Peter Paul is also a miracle. I was not expecting him at all, the same that I was not expecting to have leukemia. I prayed to God that he would survive. Throughout the pregnancy, I gained only 6 lb. and Peter Paul weighed 6.2 lb. at birth. He could have died in my womb because of my condition. Yet he lives! For God to give me this sickness and pregnancy at the same time is very unexplainable to everyone including me. In Peter Paul, I have seen the glory of God in the midst of this scandal. God really wants me to live in spite of all the odds against me to survive and have Peter Paul alive.

        Each child that I have, I know is a gift from God and yet I have always been afraid to have this attitude specially because of my fear of having another abnormal child. I thank God for showing to me that a child does not come from me. It is God who gives a child or none at all. I realized that to enter into this grace means to be open to the will of God in how many children I would have or would not have. God has allowed me to have the seventh child.

        At present, I am experiencing the symptoms of menopause due to the effect of the chemo. Furthermore, I have to be in semi-quarantine so as not to catch anything. How I long to carry Peter Paul, to feed, burp him! How I long to be with my children, to hear their little voices!

        Lastly, because of this Leukemia I have to undergo chemotherapy every month and the pain and suffering I go through teaches me humility in front of this history that God has willed for me. Even though how much I want to fight and rebel against this Kenosis, I cannot. There seems to be no escape from these pains and sufferings. Because of this sickness, I pray more often to have the strength to accept this history. And sometimes in my weakness, I find myself so tired, that I do not want the chemo anymore. Often I ask God when this suffering will end and whether I will ever be cured of Leukemia or not. This has taught me to really live and appreciate each day.

        I thank all of you for all your prayers and moral support that has continued to sustain me. Please continue to pray for me as I also pray for you.
Yours in Christ,